


Énouement

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BAE2017, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 09:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: "Byun Baekhyun you said" Chanyeol processes as the ghost is bringing back the life he doesn't remember.





	Énouement

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR: [muffinseok (LJ)](https://muffinseok.livejournal.com/)  
> PROMPT #: 338  
> 
> 
> Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Note: i'm just sorry

_Énouement:_ _n._ the bittersweetness of having arrived here in the future, where you can finally get the answers to how things turn out in the real world, which is priceless intel that you instinctively want to share with anybody who hadn’t already made the journey, as if there was some part of you who had volunteered to stay behind, who was still stationed at a forgotten outpost somewhere in the past, still eagerly awaiting news from the front.  
  
  
**Lighting emotions**  
  
Chanyeol was wondering about stars. As how they were born, no one knew. But the most he thought about was their way of disappearing. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he resembled to them. After they were dead, as if a person was, we wouldn’t know. The light was still being shown because of the long away they were from Earth. He used to think _old Chanyeol_ was the star and his body the light everyone could still see. But he wasn’t him anymore. Instead, it was some stranger trying to live his life, not so surprisingly failing.  
  
It had been almost a year since he woke up from coma, so now he was more susceptible to the thought of not living _old Chanyeol_ ’s life but to create a new one. At the beginning it was harder to do than said. _Old Chanyeol_ had friends, a job and some hobbies he just didn’t feel able to keep up with. When he tried, it returned as a big headache. After a short time he didn’t have friends that hoped for someone he wasn’t. To be honest, he had no friends at all because to establish a relationship was based on your ability to get to know people. The situation is supposed to be reciprocal but when they asked about him, there was nothing he felt confortable telling. Chanyeol had no past and incapable of create a present that gave an idea of a possible future. He was alive as if he wasn’t. He still wonders why _old Chanyeol_ had to disappeared.  
  
The times sadness made an appearance were on Monday’s mornings and Thursday’s nights. He dealt with himself to keep living when he found hope. It rested on a drawing _old Chanyeol_ probably saved for a reason he didn’t remember. It was the side profile of a boy. _Might be a child_ , he thought. Since the day he put his eyes on it his hand started to demand for pencils and some paper. At the start he used the inspiration to merely create shapes of something he was thinking when working. After some were completed with a bit of shade they looked nice so it was a way of relaxing. Then, before going to sleep everyday he would draw something to put on a notebook he used as a diary. When he told the psychologist, she approved the technique and gave him a new notebook as a gift when the previous was getting too old because the quantity of art it held. He never missed the creation that gave him the start and every time he needed some inspiration just a glance to the old lines would return all kind of sensations.  
  
He got to know himself better as the time passed. It wasn’t just the drawings but the music. He discovered he could identify with the lyrics some artists wrote. It gave him some strength to explore how to build his life looking to the future and small bits by small bits he turned the house he was living in into his home. The home that saved old photos about the childhood he felt like his own now even if he didn’t remember; the clothes he may identified with, if not, new ones were welcomed. And where he was gathering new memories.  
  
Those new memories didn’t make sense for Baekhyun though.  
  
As for Chanyeol whose harder time was to create a new identity, for Baekhyun was to believe everything up to that point became nothing: it was never going to be the same. When those thoughts came he suffered the most. He missed the way Chanyeol would look at him when watching a movie when he thought the oldest wasn’t looking, the touch of their fingers just before interlacing, and the taste of Chanyeol’s upper lip after he had eaten strawberries each Saturday morning.  
  
Despite everything happened, the worst part was to actually know what was happening. He usually thought how selfish was to even mention that his hell was doubled by the feelings inside Baekhyun to those Chanyeol felt. He was being the one watching everything.  
  
So, while the youngest boy was wondering about stars, Baekhyun would admire him as if he was another shining explosion. Just the same way Chanyeol himself could resemble to one, either of the points of view. When he smiled, Baekhyun harmonised with his lips up and wrinkling eyes. In a way, that was beautiful but he was even more thankful to know that when Baekhyun cried, Chanyeol didn’t noticed. It hurt anyway, but he would endure the pain.  
  
**_Chanyeol gets asleep, but this time some white noise wakes him up._**  
  
The sun is starting to hide behind the mountain but Chanyeol hasn’t moved since he sat there. And again he wonders what old Chanyeol would have been doing at this time if he still lived. Maybe he would be painting just like him.  
  
Most of his paintings were now views from his window, the one he was looking through. He learnt how to obtain the same exact colours get mixed between the green leaves and black darkness. The ones old Chanyeol saved in his room were abstract. When there’s nothing to think about he tries to guess about the meaning behind all of them. It’s amazing how a mind who created such beauty can’t attach it to a meaning now. Right after waking up those hanging up on the front wall were a mix of feelings and hate with a bit of hope. As the time passed each feeling attached to a colour. Hope was orange (maybe because of the long mornings he spend watching how the sun went up bringing warmth and life outside) but hate had many colours. It was grey first, a mix of black and white that showed how his feelings and old Chanyeol’s feelings tried to combine just not working out all right. Then it shifted to just black; the one everyone attaches it to but maybe he doesn’t know. White became pureness instead.  
  
By the time the moon is bright up in the sky Chanyeol’s eyes are closing and he isn’t fighting to keep them open. It’s not so late but maybe he should start to rest more than what he has been doing lately.  
  
And once he gets asleep the boy is back again. He has been dreaming with him for the past month. He doesn’t complain he _is_ a nice view but sometimes he wonders who he is and why is he appearing every night in his mind. He guesses the white around proofs his theory of him being and angel. _You know, the “once you are near death you can see some kind of things related to God or angels or just, weird things”_ , was the way Jongdae explained what he thought. He couldn’t think of any other credible stuff and believing that seemed to make Jongdae happy. He did so.  
  
The boy never talked he just stared at him. Sometimes it was the picture of Chanyeol on a mirror and the boy appeared at his back, others the boy stood in front of him. Chanyeol tried to speak up and start some conversation about the things he was so curious surrounding the boy but it wasn’t his business to control any dream. At least not after he woke up from coma.  
  
Suddenly he feels the cold air of night at the same time some weird feeling runs over him. Opening his eyes doesn’t make the white boy disappear from his sight. The more he notices around the more he assures himself he is now on the living room. And the more scared he is too.  
  
That same guy (who suddenly stops to seem nice and kind) is staring at him the same way he did in dreams. The only difference is that now he himself can speak. However, Chanyeol is only able to produce an odd noise. Big eyes and an open mouth help to form a face that shows his deep thoughts.  
  
Baekhyun is not sure about what he is supposed to say if he has to even do it. Since when has this been possible? He has been around Chanyeol all these months and none of those moments collide within the boy’s real life. It’s not like he asked for this, or activated something to bring both universes together. Both were scared and curious but no one knew how to help the situation.  
  
After some seconds Baekhyun decides to move because they have been staring at each other in a creepy way that he can feel it’s not comfortable for Chanyeol either. But as he tries he can’t move. It’s then, when he tries to talk.  
  
"Byun Baekhyun" _So this fucking works._  
  
"Okay, he speaks" Chanyeol mouths looking at the ceiling and bringing a hand at his nape. "He speaks" he frowns too. "Why the fuck can you speak" Baekhyun is about to open his mouth when Chanyeol raises his voice. “No. Better don’t answer me. Yeah, I think… Well, I mean.” He stops and breathes out. _Lets do this_. “Who are you?”  
  
Chanyeol thinks this is a great way to start. _Wrong option._ Baekhyun is laughing but he can’t notice because all his body is tensed and he doesn’t feel like focusing on just one thing when there are many he doesn’t understand right now.  
  
“Byun Baekhyun” he repeats and feels a little low when Chanyeol doesn’t respond at the name. When reality collides with him he hoped he could fix the mess and make Chanyeol remember their past. Chanyeol is too nervous to notice even if he asked; yet Baekhyun already knows his name so he doesn’t ask back. But the feeling of the name of Baekhyun meaning nothing to him anymore drops his smile and decides to better disappear from Chanyeol sight. He doesn’t move though. Part of him can’t and the other half doesn’t want to. His heart hurts but letting Chanyeol go again would hurt even more.  
  
_Stay calm, you are the one who knows the most, just help him first and then try to fix everything again._ Baekhyun repeats to himself. It’s easier to say than to do but he really tries. His moves and thoughts are repetitive, awkward and slow because his brain works too fast and only half of the things he thinks really get to happen.  
  
For his part Chanyeol has turned around and is now looking at the white wall. He gets nothing in clear but harmony brings peace and that’s all he needs to keep his mind active instead of falling over because he would easily pass out.  
  
“I’m Park Ch-“ he gets to say trembling and moving his hands from fists to their relaxed point (being everything but relaxed) and vice versa to relieve emotions.  
  
“Park Chanyeol” he ends it. “I know” _more than you do._ But he doesn’t say it.  
  
Chanyeol starts turning around.  
  
“How?” Baekhyun laughs again. This time Chanyeol notices.  
  
“I’ve been watching you since you woke up. Even before I would say” _and also knowing you more than you can remember._ “Like, not spying okay. I just appeared here being-“ he looks down and shivers, “this. Whatever _this_ means”  
  
Chanyeol is observing Baekhyun from top to bottom. He presumed _Baekhyun_ was an angel. What if he wasn’t? What if he was something else? What could he be? Those questions start to appear in Chanyeol mind one right after the other and then back again.  
  
“What does _this_ mean to _you_?” It sounds so calm Chanyeol gets scared by his own softness.  
  
“Something you wouldn’t believe”  
  
“I can’t believe you like this. Try it anyway, nothing could be worst if you are already here.”  
  
Baekhyun stops and thinks for a second. Maybe the word is too harsh to hear from him but he wants to help in every possible way.  
  
“A… ghost?” Chanyeol face reacts slowly. “I guess. I mean; I don’t have wings or shit to fly but I’m levitating” Chanyeol follows his body until his feet making sure he is telling the truth.  
  
_A ghost. Okay, not bad. I mean, it’s not an angel but Jongdae was right: a fucking weird thing. This means they exist… what the actual fuck_  
  
“Byun Baekhyun you said” and for a moment he gets to see Baekhyun lifting up his lips to form a cute smile. He decides to show another back.  
  
**_From day one to the end_**  
  
**_day one_**  
_“I’m not comfortable with that reference tho, is it okay if I call you just Byun_?”  
  
  
_day eleven_  
_“It’s weird how sometimes you know more about me than I know myself. Ghost’s things I guess.”_  
  
_day thirty_  
_“Have you ever thought how is that you are the only one who can see me?”_  
  
_“A lot of times, but I don’t have the courage to ask you about it”_  
  
_“Oh well, it is not like... well I don’t think I either have an answer to give”_  
  
_“I’m fine with it tho”_  
  
_day thirty-two (noon)_  
_“Are you afraid?”_  
  
_“Afraid?”_  
  
_“Yes, of me.”_  
  
_“No.”_  
  
_“How?”_  
  
_“Why should I?”_  
  
_“I still believe this is wrong, somehow.”_  
  
_“I told you already, look at the stars. Are you afraid of them?”_  
  
_“No, but–“_  
  
_“No excuses, I guess at the end of the day I’m the lucky guy who gets to look at you.”_  
  
_day thirty-nine_  
_“Jongdae.”_  
  
_“Uh?”_  
  
_“What do you feel for Minseok?”_  
  
_“Oh boy, who is the one?”_  
  
_“No, no… I’m just curious. Every time you look at him there’s kinda the same shinning soft spot on the right-left of your eyes.”_  
  
_“I guess I love him after all this time.”_  
  
_“So that’s love.”_  
  
_day forty-seven_  
_“I noticed.”_  
  
_“What?”_  
  
_“Long ago.”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“How you look at me.”_  
  
_“Oh… I’m sorr–”_  
  
_“No. Don’t be. Did you notice? My drawings I mean.”_  
  
_“I think. Are they…?”_  
  
_“Yes, they are. I think I got your features pretty impressive.”_  
  
_“You did (as you used to do).”_  
  
_day seventy_  
_“Your hands are cold.”_  
  
_“It’s cold.”_  
  
_“When I kissed you too? I felt warm inside.”_  
  
  
_day one hundred and one_  
  
_“Your skin feels soft for a non existent one.”_  
  
_“I still wonder how you can touch me. I mean, okay you can see me, but this is a bigger thing.”_  
  
_“Maybe I know where to touch.”_  
  
_day one hundred and thirty-one_  
_“Dating is better than I expected.”_  
  
_“That’s because you are romantic.”_  
  
_“Still, I like it.”_  
  
_“I like you.”_  
  
_day one hundred and sixty-four_  
_(I miss you. Where are you? It’s been days since I saw you last time)_  
  
_day one hundred and eighty_  
_(I’ve found something. I need answers, please Byun)_  
  
_day two hundred; **the end**_  
_“Chanyeol, please.”_  
  
_“Is it that you?”_  
  
_“I don’t want to talk about this.”_  
  
_“Why did you come back so?”_  
  
_“To farewell.”_  
  
_“Baekhyun. Does all this relate to the drawing right? That was the reason you left.”_  
  
_“Chanyeol don’t.”_  
  
_“I need to know.”_  
  
_“You were the one who draw it.”_  
  
_“That wasn’t me and you know.”_  
  
_“Well, the old you. Please stop this. You should know… you should.”_  
  
_“What do you mean?”_  
  
_“Chanyeol! This is wrong. This was not supposed to be like–“_  
  
_“This? Baekhyun help me to understand.”_  
  
_“It’s not my fault but I’m still sorry. I was my fault to keep wondering you around but I missed you so badly my heart hurt.”_  
  
_“Wait, did we know each other?”_  
  
_“Yes… We did. Long before our accident.”_  
  
_“Our?”_  
  
_“You were the one who got in the hospital. I was just left here, floating. I saw you in coma. I saw how you slept for months to wake up without memories. Without me.”_  
  
_“You were with me all this time?”_  
  
_“Yes…”_  
  
_“I never thought you were since the beginning. Who was I to you?”_  
  
_“Funny how words hurt more than anything.”_  
  
_“I guess I’m sorry. But I don’t remember anything, you know.”_  
  
_“I know more than you do. Chanyeol this was and still is so hard for me. You don’t know for all the things we passed. All the problems we got over._  
All the nights we spent crying together to end like this.”  
  
_“Byun. What wer–?”_  
  
_“Chanyeol I loved you. I still do.”_


End file.
